Big T vs. Little T

When people hear the word "trauma," they often think of the big, obvious stuff. The car accident. The assault. The loss. These are what I call Big T traumas, and yeah, they absolutely matter.

But here's what most people miss: the Little t traumas pile up quietly. The criticism that felt like rejection. The moment you learned your feelings weren't safe to express. The chronic stress of never quite being enough. The everyday moments that taught your nervous system the world wasn't safe.

Both Big T and Little t get stored in your body the same way. Both create patterns. Both can drive addiction.

In this conversation, we dig into how these different types of trauma shape the brain and nervous system, why addiction often shows up as a brilliant coping mechanism (not a character flaw), and what actually needs to happen for real recovery. We talk about systems, not shame. About how your body learned these patterns and how it can learn something different.

If you've ever wondered why you can't just "think your way out" of addiction or anxiety or Old patterns, this one's for you. Because understanding the architecture of trauma changes everything about how you approach healing.

Tags: trauma and addiction connection, nervous system healing, LMFT perspectives on trauma